These anxious moments by the phone, email, Facebook and msn messenger build yourself up to either be a stronger dater or weaken your dating longevity. Some women go into denial - ‘I know it’s been two weeks, he is just really busy at the moment. AND maybe they died in a freak accident? Their phone was stolen? He was secretly in the CIA and has been shipped off to Afghanistan for secret interrogation work? Some go on the defensive ‘Well, if he isn’t going to call then there’s no way in hell I am calling him, I didn’t even like him that much anyways!!!’ Some women stalk their dates if they haven’t received a call by the next day. Ladies, 57 missed calls from a private number isn’t a subtle approach - he knows it’s you!
Personally, I react differently each time. Some times I will be happy to wait the standard three-four days and then either give up waiting or depending on the person I might send an email. Other times, if I have known them for awhile and have had a daily call, text or emailing session leading up to the date, I will generally start convincing myself the date went terribly if I have not heard from them in less than 24 hours; because maybe I was too worried about how my hair looked or worried about getting food on my face to notice the crashing and burning of the potential relationship happening around me.
Interestingly, if my date whom I never wanted to see again contacts me, I still feel relieved after he has made the first contact. Because the ball has been left in my court – I have been given the offer of something more with that person and I can choose to let it wither and die with one little text message or I can feed that persons desire to let what we have grow into something. I have been given control.
Why so anxious?
Because, dating is personal and the rejection you feel afterwards is always personal. I have always thought that dating is a process where each dater assesses and critiques their date, for example; ‘Hmmm his nose scrunches up in a weird way when he laughs, I don’t know about that’ and ‘he nods too much when I am talking, I don’t know about that either.’ Whereas, love is about accepting and embracing all the quirks and differences that person has. We all want to get to the love stage, eventually and maybe more than we may admit sometimes, so dating can be brutal, it is little rejections of an offer or hope of love.
Can I handle the heat? Probably not as well as some people and probably better than others. The biggest thing to remember is that no matter how amazing and promising one date looked before your entrée, if it didn’t work out it simply was not meant to be.
Loyalties Of Life by Christal A is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non-Commercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Australia License.
Based on a work at loyaltiesoflife.blogspot.com.
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