Men to Avoid

The partner we choose in life is one of the biggest and most significant choices we will ever make. Some people are devastated by their choices and some people appear to be blessed with a beautiful life and beautiful partner. For someone who has been somewhat unlucky in love up until this point, here are some guidelines I have learnt along the way:

Don't go out with the guy who.....

1) talks about himself in third person; remember 'Jimmy' who chases Elaine in the Seinfeld episode 'The Jimmy' (Season 6 Episode 105). It's funny for awhile, but after that you start believing there may be psychotic tendencies at play.

2) is married/recently separated/is in prison/has a personality disorder/lives on the streets/has bad breathe. These men are unavailable either physically, emotionally or both. Also, any guy who suggests you lay down in the boot of his car as a 'fun game' he probably wants to kill you.

3) listens to Cher, Madoonna and Barbara Streissand while reading the IKEA catalogue in bed and dusting his home-made cup cake crumbs off your new pink Peter Alexander fluffy robe. The man is gay. Accept it - your boyfriend is now the best girlfriend you have ever had (Hello, Will & Grace).

4) see's life as a Broadway musical (the guy who breaks out into song at any available moment, asks you to announce him before he enters rooms in a 'non mediocre' way; and thinks the best way to avoid an argument is to sing a ballad from the Pirates of Penzance). You will always be the supporting role in his life, or even regarded as an audience member with season tickets - and let's not mention the associated stress of attending to such a 'huge talent'.

5) somehow managed to convince you that giving up your career and taking up cooking/cleaning classes was the best idea for everyone; that his best mate moving into the spare room ('men's game room') was the best idea he has ever had and that Sunday aka 'nudist day' is also the best idea he has ever had - it's obvious he took a hypnotist course - get out now, the man has secret powers.

Just thank me later.

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Loyalties Of Life by Christal A is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-Non-Commercial-No Derivative Works 2.5 Australia License.
Based on a work at loyaltiesoflife.blogspot.com.