After dozing in and out of sleep for no longer than 20 minutes my phone started flashing, buzzing and dancing on my bedside table. It was 'Jamie'. Irritated by the disturbance I was reluctant to answer. I Answer the phone in a broken, croaky voice: "Hey..what's up?" 'Jamie' answers in a slimy but cheery voice: "Hello there dear, what are you doing?" ... "are you still drunk, why are you talking like that? I am sleeping, is anything wrong?" ..."No I was just wondering what you were up too, I miss you already" ... "what? 'Jaimie' I am going back to sleep. Talk to you later" ..."OOoookie then, I will call you when I finish work"... "yeah great". As soon as I shut my flip phone it hit me...
I am 'Jamie's' new RELATIONSHIP on Facebook!! ?? !! ??
Oh BUGGER crap crap crap crap crap CRAP!
I quickly jump out of bed, turn my monitor on and sign into Facebook. By this stage over 15 people had commented and 7 people had liked his new relationship status. As I was reading the new set of comments I am hit with 3 texts arriving in perfect sequence from friends who have seen the post. Sarah: "Ouuu la la! congrats Chickie!" Madeleine: "Hey Beautiful, are you seeing 'Jamie' its all over Facebook!" 'Shrek': "Lets go out tonight for celebratory drinks".
Oh crap crap crap crap crap CRAP!
I walked through to the kitchen... stunned...My friend who had also had a big night somewhere else walked through and asked what was up with me.. I was speechless... I threw my arms up in the air and shook my head. Confused, my friend asks "you lost your phone again?" -i shake my head- "you did the hyena laugh for an extended period of time resulting in vodka pouring out of your nose?" ...nearly, but no..."Oh no, you didn't get into a religious debate again did you?". I decide to put her out of her misery. I place both my hand over my face and yell "I HAVE A BOYFRIEND AND I DON'T KNOW HOW I GOT IT.. ITS ON FACEBOOK WHAT DO I DOOOO" I took my hands off my face and met a stunned stare from my friend. We both looked at each other and cracked it. Trying to breathe between the laughter I try and tell her it's not funny, its serious! 'Jamie' is serious! We calm ourselves down. By this point we are both sitting on the floor unable to move.
My friend then asks me a series of questions assessing how much I was too blame for the new relationship status. After drilling me for reasons why 'Jamie' could possibly think he was in a relationship with me, we concluded that 'Jamie' was in fact deluded.
My head is pounding...I sit and stare at the screen... what now?
Love is in the air
ReplyDeletelol i don't think so Deane
ReplyDelete